HOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLL! I have been seriously conned! Somebody please call the neenaws!
Mum is a right old meaniebum!
I have worked my paws off in the crowded shoppyplace in Reading today - weaving our way through all the humans scurrying around. That was all fine. I did a good job. Mum said so!
So, I happily hop back into the car. We ride back to the boatykennelplace. I hop out of the car (after waiting for permission). I do as I'm told and go busy boy (That corner of the wall needed a wash anyway!). I set off for a bit of a wander around to catch up on the gossip I've missed while we've been out, leaving a few weemails in the process. This is all fine. Mum then calls me aboard the boat on the promise of a 'new bone'. I almost skidded off the other side of the deck in my obedience to get 'on the boat' in response. I go down the steps and wait patiently while Mum takes off her outer fursubstitutes. I wait still longer while she takes off her pawcovers. I sit perfectly in anticipation of my new bone. Mum opens the white cupboard, gets out a rustly bag containing my bone. I get all excited, tail in overdrive, mouth dripping.......and she says "Oooh It's frozen" and promptly puts it in the sink! Hoooooowwwwwwllllll! I had to make do with a couple of meazly little treats! She says I can't have a frozen bone. She says my tongue will get stuck on it. Haaarrrrrruuuuummmmmppppphhhhhh!
So, that means I came rocketing in on a false promise! NOT FAIR!
As if that con wasn't enough, I then sat and carefully watched Mum unpacking some packs of my treats. That was when I discovered the other con: When I have believed I have been getting a treat for good work, it turns out I have only been getting a fraction of a treat! Mum took all those yummy meaty strips and meaty sticks - laid them on the big block on the worktop - then attacked them with a shiny choppystick! So, each one became SIX little bits! HOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLL again! That means I have to do six Goodboy things to get just ONE full treat!
Mum says it is to preserve my waistline. Well, if she carries on like that then just one of those meaty strips will go around my waistline! I will look like a greyhound!
Where are those neenaws?