Porky? Moi?????

Harrrumph! I woz conned! I thought we were going for a nice walk. Mum mentioned the word 'park'. Off we toddled. Yes, OK, it was a nice walk. Quite a long walk. Not to a park though. It seems that the park was just part of the directions! We walked all the way on road-routes! Huff! That meant I had to work on harness all the way. Well, OK, I admit ..... I do love working guiding Mum...... but when park is mentioned...... hmmmmm!

Anyway, where we actually went was a Vet's! Well that was OK while we were waiting outside the little room. There was a couple of other black labradors to meet and greet. Then a nice vet man came out and called my name. That was great - nice happy greetings, fusses and waggy tail stuff. Then he put that funny tube thing into his ears and came at me with the terrifying other end, with the disk on it. I did my best to dissolve into the floor to escape that thing but to no avail. He got me with it. He prodded it against my chest and my tummy. Thankfully, he didn't get away with doing anything else with it. Mum says he wouldn't have done anything else with it anyway. Too bloomin right he wouldn't! I made sure of that! I rolled over on my back, put my paws in the air and rumbled and snorted my biggest protest!

That bit was over and we were friends again. More fusses and a treat! That's OK then. I thought.

I thought wrong! He came at me again.... this time with a shiny spike in his hand! Aaaaagggghhhhhh! I remembered that those spikes get stabbed into my neck, so I did my very bestest to roll over again. It didn't work. He got hold of a big handful of my neck and stabbed me - while I was lying on the floor trying hard to press down into it! Well.....I have to assume he stabbed me with it anyway..... I can't say I actually felt anything.........but..... just the thought of that spike was enough!

Mum says that is me now protected from nasties for another year. Hmmm!

I let her know of my disdain for her deceit and for the atrocity that she took me to; I plodded as slowly as I could possibly manage all the way back home to the boat! That'll teach her! She can call me Ploddypaws, Sulkysocks and Grumpalump as much as she likes but it will take a lot of treats to make up for this!

Oh! Hang on though...... she said something about less treats AND a bit less food coz my numbers were too big on the big shiny mat. Mr Vet man said that 33.5kg is my absolute upper limit. I must not get any porkier! Porky! How DARE he?! He says that because I now have a weetabix in every meal, I need a little less kibble. I really don't think I like him! But then...... he did say I am nice and muscular...... well that is NOT porky is it?!!! Mum..... please don't starve me...... please?!!!!