Totally Unacceptable!

I had to WAIT! WAIT ... I tell you .....WAIT......huh? Well...... I had to protest! I had worked my paws off guiding Mum around town again today, then put up with aaaaalllll the faffing around with this 'putting things away' malarkey. Then I took Daddy out of the way while Mum carried on with yet more 'putting away', and stroked the floor. When we got back, she was in the galley (apparently that is what a floatyboaty kitchen is called) doing choppy-stirry-sizzly things. I rushed to my station - the bit at the end of the worktop where things usually need to be hoovered from when messy Mummy is doing galley-work. Not only was there NO hooverings (she was being way too careful!) but my bowl was absent - that meant there was no carrot trimmings to be disposed of! I glared at Mum. I glanced to where my bowl should have been. I licked my chops. I repeated this sequence several times, but STILL I had to wait! This delay is utterly unnacceptable!

The carrot trimmings were yummy when I did eventually get them - as was the bit of meat that Mum 'threw' on the floor. I don't think she meant to do that but .... well..... I couldn't leave it there could I?

Oh, and we went to Newbury Amuseum, or something. Part of today's workywalkies. Not particularly amusing for me! No yummies. No buddies. No fun! Just lots of stuff behind windows. Mum and Dad seemed to find it interesting though!

Photo of me sat, in full harness, on a wooden floor, in front of a wall of windows with things displayed inside.

Tiny Socks, and NO BEACH!

Huff! A trip to Bournemouth - but no beach! Humph! I think a serious mistake has been made today! I tried my bestest to guide Mum (with Dad tagging along too) down through town to the gardens and thus onto the beach - but she was way too stubborn. I could not persuade her, no matter how much I sped up when going in that direction, then slowed down to a plod when going the other way. She just won't follow my instructions sometimes!

Our first port of call was that place called Poole, where I guided Mum through the shoppyplace to find Boots. Then I found upstairs and straight into the humanvets place to see Kara, the nice ladyhuman who has been trying to sort out Mum's hurty paws.

Kara got Mum up high on a big chair, with her paws sticking out on the end, then she did a bit of poking and prodding - I came close to supervise and make sure Mum wasn't getting damaged. She wasn't. It was OK. Her mouth was up at the corners. I laid down again!

After leaving there, I guided Mum back through the shoppyplace again. There are no cars here but we had to stop at a gate to wait for a big rumbly train to go past. While we were waiting, I met up with Socks. He is a tiny weenie 16 week old Chihuahua puppy. He was so tiny that, even when he stretched up on his hind legs, I still had to bend down to greet him! I would have loved to had the chance to play with him but couldn't. It was fun to meet and greet though.

We carried on through town and found a human yummyery. We sat outside while Mum and Dad tortured me with smells of forbidden delicacies. I tried to squeak to a passing colleague Guide Dog but to no avail. He/she was being super good at not being distracted while working. Mum says I should take note....... Hmmmm!

Another car ride took us to the flat where we found my humanfriendman. He was all covered in white splodges and dots. The flat doesn't look much like Granny and Grandpa's flat anymore. It is all white and bright inside and it smells of the white splodges and dots. There was a big bucket on the floor that I almost stuck my nose in but that too was really pongy with the same white stuff.

We didn't stay long - just long enough for me to get some superb fusses before we set off again.

Next stop was in Bournemouth town centre where I guided Mum to Specsavers. She took all of her eyewindows and was hoping to come away needing less of them, but to no avail. She still has them all! Apparently they are all different to help with different levels of her good eyes days and bad eyes days. I enjoyed a snooze on the carpet while all the inevitable yacketying went on! The ear rub from the ladyworkyhuman was good though!

It was after leaving there that I tried so desperately to lead Mum to the only proper destination in Bournemouth, but it seems the beach was simply not on today's agenda! I shall have to try harder next time.

After returning to our floatyboatyhome, we ate, then headed off out once again - to meet church humanfriends. I enjoyed a nice snooze while they did yet more yacketying - loads of it! What do they find to yip so much about?

Two photos of my meet and greet time with tiny Socks today.

 

Parp Parp!

'Poop factory'
'Bone bum'
'Parpy pooch'
'Stinky'
'Sodchops'
'Houdini'
'buggalugs'......

Just a few of the names Mum has called me today! She says she should buy shares in the poo bag company. She says it is payback for my delicious bone-munching over the last couple of days. She says that 8 doggydownloads of concrete conkers in a day is a record.

I think that the first four names in the list above are explained by the bone. The others, it would seem, have something to do with my clever discovery this morning. I discovered that I can open the front doors of our floatyboatyhome. That meant I was also able to help myself to some playtime with passing pooch pals. That, in turn, meant that I discovered a new swimming point very near to home. That, in its turn, meant that I may have perhaps got a bit wet when Mum didn't really appreciate it. That, in its turn, meant that Mum has had to stroke the floor rather a lot. Heeheehee....errrr....I mean....Ooops! Sorry Mum!

I think I made up for it by all my good working this afternoon and evening though. We went to Newbury where I workywalkied Mum all around town and then brought her home on the bus, without Dad. That meant I had to help to get her safely across a big busy road after we got off the bus (and after a delectable ear rub from the bus driverman!), and then all the way back to our floatyboatyhome. Mum was very pleased with me. She proved it with a yummy when we got home!
Now, I have just been curled up in a tight ball, with my nose tucked neatly by my tail. Then there was a loud squeaky pfffft followed by the most awful niff! I had to run away! I am now safely stretched out again with my nose planted firmly by Mum's bum instead - much safer! ........

Bra Testing Day!

Bra tested. I think I can declare it acceptable.

It passed the walkies test.
It passed the zoomies test.
It passed the rolling test. (Must find some stinky mud to test fully)
It passed the swimming test.
It passed the big shake test. In fact I think it enhanced the spray factor! I got Mum good and soggy! Heeeheee!

Me swimming in the canal wearing blue harness.

Me standing dripping on the towpath wearing blue harness.

New Bra...

I kept a low profile. Mum seems to have gone into some kind of strange overdrive putting everything away in boxes in cupboards.... I don't want to get put away!

The froth monster machine has been fed with two lots of innocent victims today too. One lot of fursubstitutes and one lot of towels. I'm never going to get myself fed to that monster. Everything that comes out of it seems to get hung up by little clippy things. I really don't fancy being clipped up by my ears!

Actually, I got to spend some time out on the towpath munching my big bone! Mum put my new bra on me and hooked my lead onto it. That meant I couldn't join any passing doggypals on their walkieses. I thought that was a bit mean, but it was nice to lie out there and meet and greet them all. I didn't let anyone else get my bone though! That's mine .... all mine! 

Mum pointed her talkybone at me and tried to take a photo but she says it is a naff picture so she will try again another time. The new bra is OK. It is quite comfy enough to curl up for a snooze so I think I can get used to it.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon!

Aah! Now that's what I call a good Sunday!

Good workywalkies. Church (humanfriends and hoovering!), A bit more workywalkies. Freerun including some swimming (Dad says it was at a place called Pangbourne and the swims were in the River Thames). I even rescued a twig from the water! A few plays with passing doggypals. Then home for a chillout time with a huge knobblyknucklebone!

Three photos from today's freerun:

A side-on portrait of a very happy me.

Swimming and rescuing that poor twig.

Swimming and rescuing that poor twig.

Phew! What a busy day...

Pahahahahahaha! Silly Silly Silly Mummy!

This morning, she gave me the most thorough grooming attack that I have had in ages. She said I needed to be super smart and respectable for today. She is soooo daft! I soon sorted it out though. A quick swim in the canal dealt with that daft smart appearance thing! I got my timing just perfect - I zoomed ahead to just the right distance so she couln't quite get to me in time to grab my collar. She yelled "Stay out of the water" just that smidgen of a moment too late! Heeheeheeheehee! And I got her good and proper with my big shake as I climbed out again! I'm definitely not as silly as Mum is daft! Or - maybe the other way around....???

Anyway, we carried on to Padworth Meadow (you see, I have spent weeks working up to this - lulling Mum into a false sense of security - never before have I gone for a swim on the way TO the meadow. Only on the way back). I enjoyed a lovely romp around there - caught up on a fair few weemail exchanges between me and the local pooches. I tried very hard to persuade a Border Collie called Flash to play with me. I even offered him the ball I found, but he doesn't do playing, so I just squeaked the ball until it had no squeak left in it.

Dad, once again, picked us up in the car and we set off on a looooong drive. We finally arrived on familiar territory: the place where we went a year and a half ago for Debbi and Ryan's wedding. This time, I remembered the way and guided Mum straight to the door of the building. Inside, we found loads of humanfriends that we haven't seen for a very long time! My tail did a lot of wagging! After meetings and greetings, we went to a big table, where I lay down underneath in the middle. From there, I had a perfect view of all around - great for hoovering every morsel that got dropped! Not that many did though - except for a few tasty offerings from a minihuman! It seems that the occasion was something called Mik and Sue's Golden Annieservery or something. Some people did some lollipop yacketying and then it was time for goodbyes again.

Next stop was a brief visit to Rosie, James and microhuman Hallie. Hallie seemed to be whizzing around rather efficiently on all four paws - and she also seemed determined to chase me and try to get hold of the bells on my collar! Eeek! At least I got my dinner there though. So that bit was good!

Next came a brief visit to Papa. That was a tasty visit! Papa had left a carrot lying on a chair. Well....I couldn't leave it there to rot could I? Yummmm! I also sniffed out another yummy that he had carelessly left on the floor! Thanks Papa!

Before the long journey home again, I got a brief walk around a field in the dark. it was good to have a chance for a sniff around - and to empty my tanks too!

Now, back home, the hotbox is glowing nicely and, if you will excuse me, I need to get Mum shifted off my bed. I need to dream up my next set of tactics for sorting out any daft plans that Mum might have for me......