I'll Give Her "Bumbling Twerp"...

Bump. Mmmnnhhmmmzzzzzzz. Bump. "Hahahahhaha....you daft dog! Just lie down!" That's all the sympathy I get for falling asleep sitting up and wobbling over to bump my bonce on the wall!

I'm too tired to lie down. I'm quite content to sit here and not move a muscle......Bump....Oh! all right then....shove over a bit Mum. I shall avail myself of your lap for a pillow.

It has been a great day today. The biggest workywalkies for ages! We left Dad aboard our floatyboatyhome and I had to guide Mum to the bus stop on the big busy road here in Aldermaston. We waited a few minutes then the bus came and I guided Mum aboard and found her a seat. We rode quite a long way on the bus and got off when it stopped rumbling in Newbury Bus Station. I then worked my paws off guiding Mum all around town. In and around loads of shops. Most of them were boring - she seemed to be doing loads of that browsing thing - mainly in shops that have lots of fursubstitutes hanging everywhere. I did manage to invite myself for some nice fusses from several humans in those shops. In one of them, there were lots of humans moving things all over the place. Mum says there were rearranging the displays. All I know is that I had to work super hard stopping Mum poking her eyes on all sorts of sticky-out shiny prongs and things. The workyhumans in there were really nice though; they helped Mum and then made some wonderful fusses of me!

After all the boring shops I managed to escort Mum to the other side of town to the bestest shop: Pets At Home! Yippee! A nice manhuman came and got down on his knees beside me. I was soooo sure it was because he wanted my loves, but no! He was helping Mum to fit me with a new bra! Mum says it is for when I am not wearing my workywalkies smart white Guide Dog harness. For times when I am out on the towpath but off duty. She told the manhuman that it is because I am sometimes a bit of a bumbling twerp! How rude! She says that I have no idea how big my own bum is! She says that is why I have a tendency to fall into the canal sometimes! She says the new bra will enable me to be lifted out easily and safely again in places where I can't climb out by myself. Hmmmm.....I shall have to let you know how this idea goes.......

Bumbling twerp indeed! So rude!

I might, Just Possibly, Have a Bone...

I got a bone! I got a bone! I got a bone! Yayyyy! I got a bone! Yummmmmmmyummmm!

I think I blimmin well deserved it too! Dad tried to starve me this morning! I went out to do my morning download and came back to ....NO BREAKFAST! Hooooowwwwwllllll! I had to wait .....like.....forever...... until the manhumans arrived at the boatymendyhouse place. My nosh had been locked away in their big shed! I don't know how I survived that half an hour! I had no choice but to go back to bed to conserve what little energy I had left! Waaaaaaahhhhh!

I did eventually get refuelled - no extra portions to make up for the serious delay though! I think this was all very unfair! But I did survive.....just! Refuelled, I managed to muster the energy to take Mum walkies to Padworth Meadow for a quick round of catching up on the local weemail gossip. Dad met us there in the car and whisked us away to Newbury. There I had to workywalkies Mum around town. We went into the shinydisks shop (Mum said it is called NatWest) where I got to enjoy a snooze on the carpet in a room while Mum and Dad did some yacketying with a manhuman.

Next stop was the bestest! 'Find the butcher' said Mum. Well now, that was a command worth obeying! We whizzed straight to the red and white striped shop! Mum did the good and just thing of asking Mr Meatyman for a big marrowbone! Yessssss! It was for me! Oooh! That bag did smell good as it came within sniff-range! Of course, I had to finish my workywalkies duties (two more installments after this one around town - the others were really mundane - including a trip around Dullelm again!) and get back to our floatyboathome before I got to actually attack my bone. Well...a bit of it anyway... Mum has put two big knobbly knuckles into the very cold white cupboard. I just got the long tube bit today - but I supervised very closely so I know there are two more bits to come!
I got a fair while to attack my bone while Mum and Dad ate their dinner - then I had to leave it behind while we went out again this evening. Now, after an evening of snoozing at the home of some nice humans we know and love from church, we are back and I have just enough energy left to try to get that last bit of yummy gooey stuff out of the middle.

I think I can forgive Dad now - just about - because I GOT A BONE! Yayyyyy!

Does she REALLY appreciate me?

Huff! Mum clearly doesn't appreciate my superb interior design talents! She has no taste!

All my designer speckles have disappeared from the warmwall. Plus, after a hard day of workywalkies, getting delightfully soggy and grubby on the underside, I wasn't allowed inside floatyboatyhome until I had gone through the full ritual of 'Sit. Paw' (wipe wipe). 'Other paw' (wipe wipe). 'Stand'. (wipe wipe wipe wipe - chest & belly). 'Turn around' (wipe wipe back legs & paws). Even my doodah got wiped!

I had no sogginess left to redecorate with my big shake

The best contribution I could make to the decor was a neat little puddle of dribble on the floor while Mum did her cheating me thing - cutting my 'good boy treats' into little bits. I squeaked my persuasive squeak well enough though to get one of the bigger yummy chewy dried chicken fillets! Numnumnumnumnum!

Techy Oakley...

Padworth Meadow.

Weemails received and read. Replies composed and sent. Interscent thoroughly scanned, searched, surfed and studied. Download completed. Junk box emptied.

Now time to snooze while Mum deals with her correspondence on her clicketyfingerstoy.

I much prefer my version!

Hufferoonies!

Blimmin noseband! 'Snaffle-stopper' Mum calls it. 'Opportunity robber' I call it. I sooooo could have got that tasty morsel in the shop....Beef - Mum called it. Yummy temptation I called it. Without the noseband, I might have just about managed to get my jaws around it. With it, Mum has way too much ability to 'direct' my schnozzle away from yummies. Harrruuummpphhh!

Just another Sunday...

Back to something resembling 'normal' life today. Well.....normal.....ish.....in Oakleyworld anyway!

Towpath toddle for a download, then off to church where we met lots of humanfriends - that always means abundant ear rubs and back scratches! Then we went off to an old building. (Mum says we are likely to do of this sort of thing from now on because we have joined something called the National Trust.) It was a sort of little house with a church-like bit attached. There were lots and lots of pictures everywhere and the churchy bit (Mum called it a chapel) was all pictures - the whole thing - every bit of the walls was picture! There was a nice ladyhuman in there who gave Mum a bright light to point at the walls and she helped to describe some of the pictures to her. Dad also had a flappysheet with squiggles on it. He was telling Mum what all the squiggles said about the pictures and the building. I enjoyed the bit of fusses I got from the ladyhuman. The rest of the time though, I just laid down for a rest on the floor.

I did try to persuade Mum towards the door with a little tug and a squeak and a huff, but she told me to lie down again! Humph! We did eventually get outside though and I found some bright yellow flowers to sniff amongst whilst waiting for Dad to do his one-eye-clickybox thing

Once back aboard home, I had to wait while Mum and Dad had one of their hot black water drinks, then it was off for a nice walkies along the towpath and back via the road-route. Then, after dinners, we went to another church meeting. This time, Mum and Dad had to do some yacketying from the front. That meant that I got a brief opportunity to enjoy a lie down on the carpet! The rest of the floor there was shiny-slippy so that carpet-snooze was worth snatching

Photo of me and Mum by the wooden door of the old buidling that we visited. Mum says it is called Sandham Memorial Chapel.

Brown See Eye Land!

Phoooeeeee! I am compooperated! what a crazybusy couple of days!

We are home again on our floatyboatyhome after a big adventure of a day. First of all, it seems, there was some yacketying to be done with a nice manhuman at the humankennelblock. He was behind a desk so I guess that makes him important. It seems that all the yacketying was all about yesterday's issue at brekkietime. By the end of the yacketying human mouths were turned up at the corners so I guess this was good news. We went into the yummyery area again for human brekkies again today so it must have been OK. I got to make some new human friends while we were there. They asked Mum if they could fuss me. I made the most of the opportunity! Well, it would be so rude to turn down ear rubs and back scratches wouldn't it?

After that, we went back to our kennelroom and all the bags were packed up again and taken down to reload the car. I then workywalkied Mum along the road to another humankennelblock where we found Uncle John and Aunty Judy again. Yayy

Next came the adventure: We went, all together, for a little car ride, then walked to a big floatyboat. I guided Mum up the bouncing slope and then up some steep steps aboard the floatyboat. There was no roof on this floatyboat and it had lots of seats. The cruise was a bit more bumpy than we are used to on our little floatyboatyhome and the wetslosh was a lot bigger than the canals! We cruised for a little while then got off at a place Mum says is called Brown See Eye Land. She says dogs are not allowed in this land but, because I was working, I was allowed. At first, I rather hoped I was going to get a freerun - this whole land was covered in trees and bushes and no roads at all! It would have been the bestest freerun land! But, I was on duty the whole time - ie - all day! I guided Mum around the whole Eye Land. It was lovely work! We walked for miles along a track through woods and meadows. There were some very strange featherballs about the place; they had bright blue long necks and tiny heads with very pointy noses and some of them had huge long tails trailing on the gound. I tried very hard to go play with them but Mum kept telling me to 'Leave'. Huff

The return trip on the big floatyboat took ages and was a bit chilly. We sat right at the very front of the deck with no roof. That meant I got to 'hup' my front paws onto the railing a few times and look where we were going. That made my ears flap in the huffyfuffy air.

Once I had guided Mum back to the car after all this excitement, it was past my dinnertime. Mum used her paws to search around in the car but she didn't find my bag of nosh! I had to wait until we got back to the humankennelblock car park where some bags had been in John and Judy's car. I don't know how I survived so long, but I did at least finally get my starvation alleviation in that carpark. Phew!!

We then said our goodbyes to Judy and John and we headed off for a brief call at Granny Grandpa's flat. I waited in the car while Mum and Dad popped in to collect a few things, then we had the long drive back to Aldermaston to home

I wandered briefly along the towpath to find the right place to leave my big weemail to announce my return then hopped aboard home. I got straight up on my bed (the sofa) to get out of Mum and Dad's way while they brought bags aboard, stroked the floor and made the hotbox start to glow. All this has made my eyelids incredibly heavy and, well, now Mum has joined me so I have a very comfy pillow on her leg........zzzzzzzzzz......

Photo shows me sitting by a big stone with squiggles on it. This was on our walk around Brown See Eye Land. Apparently this is something to do with some famous manhuman who started something called the Scouts and Guides - I couldn't smell any hint of any Guide Dog colleagues though. Is a scout a breed of dog?